funstuff

Ten T'ousen

Svedes

Ten t'ousand Svedes ran tru da veeds

Chased by vun Norvegian

Ten t'ousand more ran to da shore

In da battle of Copenhagen.

Vay, vay back in history

Back ven da vorld vas new

Norvegians searched all over

To find some snoose to chew.

Dey fished for Lutefisk and Torsk

It helped to make dem strong

And you and me, ve know a Norsk

Cannot do nutting wrong.

But Svedes and Danes were envious

Of Viking trips and raids

Da Viking shields and helmet horns

Made all dose folks afraid.

T'roughout da world da Vikings sailed

To Ireland and France

Dey even found America

One afternoon by chance.

My grandpa says, and he should know,

Da Svedes made up their minds

To beat da Norsky Vikings

And kick a few behinds.

But history, so Grandpa says,

Shows dat da Norskies von

Dey clobbered all da Svedes and Danes

And made it lots of fun.

Ten t'ousand Svedes ran tru da veeds

Chased by vun Norvegian

Da dust from da veeds made snoose for da Svedes

And dey called it COPENHAGEN!

E. C. Stangland

Heredity: A Genealogy Poem

I saw a duck the other day.

It had the feet of my Aunt Faye.

Then it walked, was heading South.

It waddled like my Uncle Ralph.

And when it turned, I must propose.

Its bill was formed like Aunt Jane's nose.

I thought, "Oh, no! It's just my luck.

Someday I'll look just like a duck."

I sobbed to Mom about my fears.

And she said, "Honey, dry your tears.

You look like me, so walk with pride.

Those folks are all from Daddy's side."

Grandpa Tucker

LUTEFISK?

UFF DA!

Ever since da Norskies did cross da salty sea

Da Norseman has been noted for vild ferocity.

From Norvay vest to Vinland ,and eastward past Murmansk,

Vent da plundering hordes of Norsk, and Svensk and Dansk.

At home dey played vid axes, dey svilled strong drinks from bowls,

Instead of cuddly Teddy Bears, dey gave da kids stuffed Trolls.

Da Vikings ver da fiercest guys vhatever trod da eart,

Dey passed dere fearsom heritage along dere lines of birt.

But meaness isn't in dere genes, and isn't in dere mood;

I tink it comes quite natural, from Skandinavian fud.

If man is only vhat he eats, den I have found da reason,

Fer Svensk and Norsks eat Lutefisk, venever it's in season.

Dey salt and dry dere codfish till it's a two-by-four;

Den dey soak da fish in lye, den rinse and soak some more.

Da smell of soaking lutefisk, as it vafts cross da fjord,

Can rune TV reception, pop knotholes from da board.

But Norsemen love dere lutefisk; and dey can hardly vait

Tew take it from da lye barrel,and put it on dere plate.

Some even eat it before da lye's been rinsed,

And dat is vhy da Norsemen has been meaner ever since.

In trut it tames a Norseman tew eat a cod so soaked,

Fer lesser men have held dere nose, and eaten it and croaked.

So please don't blame da Norseman for being such a risk;

It's not his fadder's heritage, it's his mudder's lutefisk.

Anonymous